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6 Types of Mobile People at Outside Lands 2013

6 Types of Mobile People at Outside Lands 2013

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This year’s Outside Lands was simply outstanding. We got to see Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Hall & Oates! There were so many legends this year. Another legend was born, mobile! It was an amazing time at the festival, but we couldn’t help but notice what a big part mobile played in this year’s Outside Lands. From recording shows to taking snapshots, mobile phones were everywhere! Therefore, we had to share the mobile perspective from this year’s Outside Lands in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.

Types are listed in no particular order.

1. The Lost Bro

Don't avoid the Lost Bro, he's drunk but means no harm.

Don’t avoid the Lost Bro, he’s drunk but means no harm.

The Lost Bro mobile user is someone who clings to life with their last bit of battery, looking for their group of bros. There’s going to be heavy usage of the word dude and bro on your end of the conversation. We advise you calmly walk past and pay no attention, they’re fine. On a side note: they went so so crazy for Hall & Oates with some super zany dancing. Your instinct may be to judge this guy because he’s upset and drunk, but don’t do it. Being at a festival is lonely when you’re the Lost Bro left behind.

2. MUST Record Everything Dudes

Oh music is on? Let me get my mobile phone!

Oh music is on? Let me get my mobile phone!

Yes, women do this, too but it’s generally men recording extended moments on their mobile phones. Recording could also happen on an actual camera, sometimes professional. It doesn’t matter which show, what time of day or who is sitting behind them – they have to get it! Would this moment really count if it couldn’t be posted on Facebook later??? I don’t think so. Sometimes it’s not about social media, it’s just about capturing everything for future posterity because hard drives are not infinite  and life is short. Sometimes the illusion is shattered altogether with the advent of Google Glass and whatever this is:

I don't know why the permanent mount was needed...

Check it out on the right! Also maybe a UFO behind?

Yes that camera is affixed to his head. Don’t worry, we probably didn’t get too close for him to do a retina scan.

3. Hula Hoop Girls! aka Moon Children 

There's a sweet hula girl on the left :)

There’s a sweet hula girl on the left 🙂

There is no mobile user type here. I imagine that the sweet hula girl’s phone would need to be kept in something like pockets inside of pants, which they don’t typically wear. You’re probably going to see them in stonewash jeggings or sweat pants – tops. No pleats here. This type of woman entertains the crowd while reminding us of what concerts used to be like… She flies free. Her friends know where to find her, they just look for the mad hula action. Or perhaps they have dual powers of night hula??

See also: Hula Hoop Glow Girls (below)

Light up Hula is extra fun!

Light up Hula is extra fun! Side note: notice all the mobile screens you see in the darkness…

4. I Was a Real Person Before Smartphones, But Now My Phone Keeps Me Company (RPBFSBNMPKMC’s)

mobile rude!

I’m totally listening babe, what was that?

Hey, you were cool once. But then you moved to San Francisco and became a pod person! It’s ok. Even though you’re with all of your friends, you’re not going to enjoy the moment. You’re going to break away and you’re going to Facebook aka play some Candy Crush. We’ve all done it, but smartphones have changed the RPBFSBNMPKMC’s life forever.

Mobile, first!

Mobile, first!

5. Freaky Battery Hoarders

You know who you are, Unicorn.

You know who you are, Unicorn.

To be fair this is a Unicorn-man who seemed a little out of control at the time. Maybe someone should have fetched him a sugar cube? The freaky batter hoarder starts getting anxious around the second hour of the concert when they realize that they’ve overcommitted to meeting too many people and nobody else is responding. They’ve been using Facebook all day and mobile geolocation loving apps like Lyft all day, while tooling around town. The anxiety runs deep with these folks, because battery = tweets = LIFE.

But seriously, what was with all the unicorns this year??? Did I miss the memo? I’m embarrassed that I thought Owls were still cool.

Seriously, guys?! Why Unicorn.

Go home Unicorns, you’re drunk.

6. The Mobile Concert Veteran!

Ok full disclaimer, this is me with my husband :) We are however, very cool...

Ok full disclaimer, this is me with my husband 🙂 We are however, very cool…

The mobile concert veteran does it like a boss (albeit self-indulgently). They use their phones while alone or unencumbered. Note: they really listen while you’re talking to them. Also, you’ll never find them recording a live show for any length of time. These people save their batteries by turning it on airplane mode when not in use. In addition to this, one of the geniuses in the picture above brought an external battery… Crafty!

Also, an external universal mobile battery makes you super popular at a concert. The seasoned mobile veteran keeps plenty of battery left and therefore will always find a ride home when it’s become late. Sometimes they even do it in style.

Not trying to show off, but this was me all 3 days...

Not trying to show off, but this was me all 3 days… (almost)

Mad props to our friends at Funny or Die for inspiring this post.